Between frequent visits with anxiety and self doubt I return home again with a huge exhalation.
I want to be home and stay home.
Home is my true Self.
Byron Katie says Heaven.
I was flipping through one of her books years ago and came across this line that has never left me.
The thought that kicks you out of heaven could be "I'd be a little more comfortable if I had a pillow."
Without that thought, you're in heaven—just sitting in your chair, being supported and being breathed. When you believe the thought that something is missing, what do you experience? The immediate effect may be subtle—only a slight restlessness as your attention moves away from what you already have. But with that shift of attention, you give up the peace you have as you sit in your chair. Seeking comfort, you give yourself discomfort.
What if you did get a pillow? That could work (if you have a pillow). You may find yourself back in heaven again. It may be the very thing you needed. And perhaps you would be happier, and perhaps you wouldn't. In the meantime, there goes your peace.
So, how do you get back to heaven? To begin with, just notice the thoughts that take you away from it. You don't have to believe everything your thoughts tell you. Just become familiar with the particular thoughts you use to deprive yourself of happiness. It may seem strange at first to get to know yourself in this way, but becoming familiar with your stressful thoughts will show you the way home to everything you need.